chocolate is the only true currency…

… in this bankrupt world. And because we are kitchen witches in love with the alchemy of chocolate, these are some of our favorite go-tos when putting together quick holiday treats.

Maybe you don’t have a lot of baking skills or time to spend. No problem. Buy commercial cookies and dip them in melted chocolate. Semi-sweet morsels in a microwave safe bowl can be melted in minute or two. Lightly coat an aluminum foil sheet with cooking spray or spread a thin layer of vegetable on foil or cookie sheet. Partially dip cookies in melted chocolate and place on treated sheet or pan to harden. For additional flavor or interest, sprinkle on chopped nuts, chopped candied ginger, or orange or tangerine zest while the chocolate is still soft.

The fastest fudge.

- 3 cups of semi sweet chocolate morsels (1 1/2 standard bags— leaving some left for melting to drizzle and plenty to eat while you mix up a batch of fudge)
- 1 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk (note: NOT evaporated milk— the syrupy super sweet stuff)
- 1-2 tsps vanilla extract
- pinch of salt
- butter, cooking spray, or parchment paper for pan for fudge mixture

Prepare pan for fudge mixture to rest in in for chilling.
Line an 8x8 baking pan or aluminum foil pan with parchment paper or foil. Soften butter and coat the bottom and 1/2 sides of foil or paper OR spray with cooking spray.

In a large sauce pan over VERY LOW heat, combine 14 oz of sweetened condensed milk and 3 cups of chocolate morsels. Add vanilla and a pinch of salt. Stir gently with a spatula or wooden spoon until morsels are all coated then let the mixture sit until morsels start to lose their form. Stir gently. Once most of the chocolate is melted, remove pan from heat and continue stirring until mixture is glossy and fudge-y. This takes just a couple minutes, so don’t walk away and have the prepared pan ready before beginning mixture.

Pour into prepared 8x8 pan and spread mixture gently with wooden spoon or spatula to all edges. Cover with cling wrap and chill for at least 1 hour before slicing.

Once chilled, lift out fudge block and slice squares to share!

We added pecans to the top of one batch— pressing them into the fudge while still warm just before chilling.

We stirred small marshmallows and chopped pecans into to the slightly cooled fudge mixture while it was still in the pan before pouring into the prepared foil for rocky road fudge.

Mint plaid nearly instant fudge... no candy thermometer required!

We created plaid peppermint icing for one batch by creating 3 colors and flavors of icing and drizzling them on in layers once the fudge was cool.

Plaid peppermint drizzle:
- white chocolate baking bar dived into thirds
- 1/4 cup semi sweet chocolate morsels
- butter: 1 TB per color
- peppermint or spearmint extract: 1 drop
- green food coloring: drop

Melt 1/3 of white chocolate baking bar with 1 TB of butter by microwaving in 10 second increments until all the bits are melted and stir easily. Baking bars take longer to melt than morsels.

Melt 1/4 cup semi sweet morsels in microwave with 1 TB of butter by microwaving in 10 second increments until all the bits are melted and stir easily.

For peppermint drizzle: melt 1/3 of white chocolate baking bar with 1 TB of butter by microwaving in 10 second increments until all the bits are melted and stir easily. Once stirred, add a scant drop of green food coloring and a drop of peppermint or spearmint extract, and stir until smooth.

Fill baggies with each of 3 flavors. Cut a small corner of each baggie in succession and drizzle small lines of each flavor over the cooled fudge block. Re-chill to set the icing before slicing.

Divide into pretty boxes, then spread chocolate joy to neighbors and friends!

Packaged and ready for delivery. Happy holidays — especially to all the hardworking elves who make it all possible!

truly doable last minute holiday gifts

Down to the wire with a few holiday gifts? Hello, you gorgeous normal human, you. We got you on this, hon. Here are some truly manageable presents for when you are down to the fa-la-laing g-darned wire.

Bake something from a box— but put it in a reusable container like this breakfast bread with added cranberries, orange zest, and —duly labeled for the allergy potential— nuts, delivered in a fluted baking dish (ready to re-gift this year or next).

Ye Olde Fruit Bowl, Basket or Box is really a welcome gift for the classic ring and run. Fruit is pretty durable when placed on the porch as long as it is not below zero. Including lots of immune system boosting citrus is an especially good idea this year of all years. Make it extra EXTRA by adding a pineapple. Perfect for the background of your ZOOM interview, right RoomRater?

Don’t have baking skills or time to spend? Buy commercial cookies and dip them in melted chocolate. Semi-sweet morsels in a microwave safe bowl can be melted in minute or two. Lightly coat an aluminum foil sheet with cooking spray or spread a thin layer of vegetable on foil or cookie sheet. Partially dip cookies in melted chocolate and place on treated sheet or pan to harden. For additional flavor or interest, sprinkle on chopped nuts, chopped candied ginger, or orange or tangerine zest while the chocolate is still soft.

Print out or write up a certificate for future gardening sesh in person or Zoomalong. Include seed packets or planting plan with types of plants found nearby and where they can go.

Divide houseplants to share.

Some other suggestions that are always welcome:

• Commit to print and inexpensively frame or digicube family or friend pictures, especially for someone who struggles with technology.

• Send a donation to the animal shelter or food bank nearest to the gift recipient in their name— or to any charity you know that they hold dear.

• Contract with a service to provide and essential service for a shut-in or family who is isolating… meals, cleaning, deliveries, yard services, mobile pet grooming are all good choices.

• Pay for a subscription to an online newspaper or local print edition because supporting real journalism matters.

• Handmade artwork or cards from kids or grandkids are always heartwarming, welcome surprises.

• A mason jar filled with the dry ingredients from your favorite cookie recipe, along with instructions, and a simple bow or tag never disappoints.

hat ornament upgrade: gnome big deal

We are always learning, ya’ll. Sometimes the same lesson over and over! It took a bit of time to create the hat ornament from leftover and recycled materials. We have illustrations below on how to add on elements to create a jolly little gnome.

Perusing the wider webs, we saw so many examples. Gnomes are in! We saw some that were really adorable — and crazily “affordable.” Hard to resist absolutely adorable ornaments for $3. But the real costs are actually higher. Made us think we could not or would not work for such a low return on our time and materials, but somewhere someone has to do so.

Please, all, take a moment and contemplate how little workers everywhere are paid! Work towards changing the corporate approach to labor and supply.

Gather wool roving, cotton fluff, or any fuzzy bit for a gnome beard. Felt up wool roving into a ball for a nose, or use a standard commercially available pom pom.

Use tacky glue, white glue, or hot glue to secure the beard to the inside of the base of the yarn hat ornament, and the felted ball or pom pom to the front just above the beard. We secured the ball and beard with cord for extra stability. Then we added a nice Brooklyn groomed mustachio for extra panache! Go big or go Gnome, right?

clever no-sew hat ornament from leftovers

If you have learned one thing about us, it is that we are going to reuse the HELL out of the contents of our recycle bin— especially the cardboard tubes from toilet paper rolls. After all, they are a constantly renewing resource! We saw various posts for adorable hat ornaments made from leftover yarn or string and parts of toilet roll tubes and thought we would give it a go.

Gather materials:
yarn or string— preferably thick enough to grasp easily and cover the cardboard
scissors
toilet roll tube
some bit of time— this takes more time than it looks!

Cut toilet roll tube into approx 1-inch sections. Cut lengths of yarn into 10-11 inch segments.

Fold lengths of string or yarn in half, then wrap the loop formed at the halfway point over the top of the cut section of toilet roll tube. Slip two ends of yarn or string through the loop such that the knot formed snugs up against the two tails at the base of the tube section. This is called a “Larks Head Knot.” Looping the loop over the back and pulling the tails through allows the two sections to lie flat in closed lines. If the knot is tied incorrectly, the lines will be divided and open. Correct ties are shown on the left of the tube. An incorrect tie is illustrated on the left of the picture above.

Correct formation of the Larks Head Knot for this project shown above!
Using a approximately equal lengths of yarn or string, continue tying knots until the tube is completely and snuggly covered.

Once the the tube is completely covered, you either have the beginning of Cthulu, which is a great way to go, if you have a mind… or the next part to the hat.

Hat?
Ok.

Push all the lengths of yarn through the tube, out the top (opposite the knots) and straighten. We know… Cthulu STILL a possibility! But, onwards.

With a length of matching string or yarn securely tie the gathered spaghetti monster…er… strands into a cinched area about hat height from the toilet roll tube brim.

We wrapped twice securing with a non-slip knot like a square knot (right strand over left, then left strand over right).

Using cotton balls, cotton salvaged from medicine bottles, or wool roving, stuff the inside of the hat form.

Trim the top strands to a pom pom or tassel shape. Add a bit of string or twine as hanger.

Adorable lil hat on the tree— squeeeee!

fresh evergreen wreath part 2: putting it all together

Spend some time with the wreath base you want to amend and decorate— look at it from every angle to assess where judicious editing of wild ass branch construction will help with overall balance. Truly, it is a rare piece that comes into the workshop that doesn’t need a little grooming!

Trim leggy branches and anything that looks wilty or sad, clip out areas that are overrepresented, and add in where branches are thin. A turntable or lazy susan on the work surface helps with this process immensely. Once the base is in overall good shape, turn it over and put a strong holder on the back— preferably wire and preferably in a contrasting color to the wreath itself so it is easy to locate. Do this BEFORE you spend an enormous amount of time wiring and gluing potentially crushable decor to the the front of the wreath. Trust.

Assemble the greens to amend the basic base. We suggest picking greens a day or two ahead of wreath production, placing the cut branches into water and allowing the greens to harden off —or condition— before use.

Then pick, wire, or glue branches of greens around the whole wreath until it is full and fluffy.

We customize wreath orders to suit their new homes. Have fun and be creative with elements on your own!

These are ready to ship— same base, completely different looks:

ANY wreath base benefits from attention to balance. As we can attest when we play: Faux or No? on a front door.

fresh evergreen wreath part 1: prepping material

As with any fresh plant material construction, beginning an evergreen holiday wreath should begin with good preparation. Set up work area, preferably with a work surface tall enough to prevent bending down to table level. Unless you are working in a dedicated workshop, securely cover surfaces with waterproof material such as plastic drop cloths or large garbage bags. A turntable or lazy susan is a great way to rotate any arrangement project, but is especially helpful in working each part of a wreath equally.

It is very possible to use fresh cut evergreen branches and wire to create your own wreath, but with so many things vying for attention at this time of year, we happily recommend using a purchased wreath base — they are widely available at garden centers and grocery stores.

We look for springy, fresh branches on these wreaths and a minimum of falling needles. Once home, we dunk the whole thing down into a tub of water and let the branches absorb moisture. After removing the base and allowing a day to dry, we treat the base with a anti-dessicating spray such as the commercially available brand, Wilt Pruf, or similar, generously spraying BOTH sides of the wreath base and allowing it dry. This one step, though not essential, makes a world of difference for evergreens lasting longer, staying prettier, in winters that are becoming ever warmer.

We like to tidy up the purchased wreath bases with judicious trimming and balancing of branches before any decoration begins.

When your work area is set up, the wreath base is ready, gather together your tools of the trade: pruners, snips, wire cutters, scissors.

Don’t forget additional items which help avoid attachment issues: wooden floral picks, green florist wire, twine, and glue gun with plenty of glue sticks.

Adding a pick onto almost any element in a wreath provides extra structure for securely attaching to the evergreen branches. Running wire securely through or around cones, fresh fruit, or the tops of ornaments, all help the embarrassment of a wreath yeeting its dec onto unsuspecting guests at the front door.

We pick fresh evergreen elements to add to a commercial wreath. Varying the colors, leaf types, and texture adds to visual interest. We use cut-from-the-yard or bought at the garden center elements that have had a day to sit in containers of cool water so they are conditioned (hardened off from a freshly cut) and ready to insert.

Once the base is tidied and ready to decorate, assemble materials to attach. Start with bundles of found or purchased greens wired on picks and then glued at the base. Leave your newly gorgeous green base as is— OR go for something fun and unusual! Eschew the expected! Leave off the ribbon entirely— be bold!

Feathers, twigs, leaves, nuts, grasses...

Varying the sizes or types of similar items is great way to add pleasing harmony.

Wreath dec needn’t be traditional cones, fruits etc. Add a variety of elements tailor-made to your style! Avoid the cookie cutter look by adding in actual cookie cutters, ornaments, beads, baubles, spools of thread, faux fruit or berries, tiny tools — whatever fills out the former store bought wreath with your own personal flair. Whatever you add, just make sure it is firmly attached to last the season!!

christmas, christmas! it’s time for amaryllis

Options abound for purchasing living and giftable holiday florals. Amaryllis and narcissus bulbs are easy to add in to Christmas decor.

Try novel and unusual containers for displaying holiday bulbs. The thrift store is a perfect spot for hunting up bargain containers. Line anything that is not waterproof. Fill the lined container with rocks or potting soil and place roots down into rocks, or more of the bulb into soil.

Plastic liner for container. Cut kraft paper shreds to disguise the tops of bulbs.

Most bulb plants will need some sort of support as they grow tall. Branches pulled from the outdoors work as well as commercially available options.

Branches add interest while you wait for blooms.

🍅 pin tomato tips 🍅

Choose bulbs at different stages of development in order to have blooms into January.

Save bulbs for next year by cutting back spent leaves, allowing substrate to dry out, and place in a cool, dark location. Bring out pots at least 6 weeks before use, water, and place in sunshine. Hint: keep tags with pots to identify color and type of blooms!

Interregnum: Time for the Regular Reminder to Breathe

December. Here you are, you massive bully, you. Fall? We hardly knew you. Blown out by the cold, reaching fingers of wind from the north… shaking out the last of the leaves and replacing the autumn glow with sharp blue ice-pack light lancing across brittle lawns in long shadows. It just feels late all day. Dark in the afternoon early.
And yet… if you close your eyes and listen? Jingling of bells! Or is it the jingling of coins tumbling in tills across the land as the holiday gift buying frenzy revs up and sweeps through.

But first, we hang now for a bit in the time between. The interstitial. The time of year when pumpkins AND holiday lights and dec occupy lawns and porches in strict violation of The Code. Ya’ll, just stop. Find a good compost pile or farm with animals and give those cuties their next, best home before you throw open the Christmas closet and unleash the inflatables. Literally, give it —and yourself— a rest. It is totally understandable to want to dive in to the best parts of December celebrating, but it is not advisable nor really even possible to do ALL OF THE THINGS. Pick a few. Do those well. Spend more time and less money. Be more present and less into presents. Bring light and fewer light displays. Bring change, but give all the dollars you can to the worthiest places and not just change at the red bucket. It feels really, really good.

Having (hopefully) survived the first of the grand high Holler-days and put family pressure and Thanksgiving behind us like the well picked turkey carcass, we are about to hit the slalom ski run accelerating to the next. A time to breathe in the crisp air— before being overwhelmed with Cinnamon and Spruce scented breezes. A time to plot out shipping schedules which determines buying schedules which determines, oh god, wrapping schedules. Wrapping… woof. Breathe…. breathe…
Thankfully, there seems to have been a turning point in corporate thought and fewer large retailers are open on Thanksgiving Day proper. Maybe forced by executives newly aware of workers who deserve fair wages and benefits, or maybe newly aware of workers at all — find that their workers need and want celebrations with their own families and friends, so have curtailed crazy open hours and Black Friday etc and many people have opted to shop from home or limit time out, so the frenetic pace of “normal" holiday shopping is subdued… one good thing from the pandemic. This quieter holiday season should allow a pause for reflection on just how crazy the pressures to consume have been heretofore.

This year,too, many, many more folks felt free to travel to see long missed relatives for Thanksgiving. Laudably, a majority were vaccinated. Many were left with the impossible choice of seeing people or risking their own, like children under five, who could not yet be vaccinated or those who put others at risk by willfully choosing to go without. Christmas will likely be the same. Or worse. Dependent of variants etc. Sigh… So, while it is possible "we all can be together… if the fates allow...” the virus may intervene— For us, that means putting the best parts of the season to top of our list, and Santa’s list, and anyone’s list.

To begin, we suggest —powerfully suggest— nigh unto insisting— that people take a moment and enjoy the post T Day November and slightly into December interregnum. Before Fa la la laing and so forth, take the time to recollect, to plan, map out what is most important in the holiday to do that silly-word-thing: self care. Make this liminal time all about you for a couple of days —then make it all about everyone else. You cannot pour from an empty cup… truth.

The interregnum between family pressure filled Holler-days is a good time to spend moments to yourself, assessing what can be done, what needs to be done and what can you can let go!

Hereforth a short list of things you know. These are good and good for you! We are moms and we are legion— so we scold. Get over it.

Put away ideas about must-dos and tradition this year. We are handing out dispensation and special licenses. Sift out what is important for safety and sanity. Make do. Decorate in small doses with what you have and what you find with natural materials. It really does something for our souls to be out in nature and to bring nature inside.

Take time now to assess your project list and pet the cat… or else.

Hey— send cards. Send Happy New Year if you aren’t about the holiday or worry the intentionally hobbled, but limping along USPS won’t deliver on time. It’s a holiday SEASON— there is plenty of time and it is never wrong to show someone you care.

While you are at it, thank your posties, friends. They really do their best… in all kinds of weather… and are a lifeline for a lot of folks who don’t or can’t email etc. Put a card for them in your mailbox— doesn’t have to be holiday themed if you worry about giving offense (and we love that you do).

Normalize shopping local, patronizing artists and artisans, give from the Second Market, make things to share… above all listen to the message of the season still lovely, if a little lost in profit driven orgy of consumption. Why do we gift at all?

Drop a card of thanks to those who support your everyday life— the docs office, the vet, the tire repair folks… whomever. It is lovely to do so in person and provide a smiling face with the sentiment— but we don’t advocate being out in the current atmosphere too much. Besides, they won’t see your smile behind your mask…. you ARE wearing a mask, right?

Take some dreamy moments to yourself before things get hectic. Enjoy the transition and the recommit to helping or valuing others. This Thanksgiving arrangement will become part of a wreath gifted on.

Read a book a day to your children for 24 days until Christmas. Don’t have 24? Libraries hand ‘em out for free!

Read a book to a shelter pet.

Read a book.

Find a giving tree or equivalent and make someone else’s holiday as jolly—or jollier— than your own. Involve your children in picking out things for kids their own age so they have the joy of imagining some one like themselves feeling special and loved on a holiday.

Pay it forward when you can. We love paying the shipping for someone rushing to get something special to a family member and unprepared for the cost. We are on call at the local shippers especially on behalf of Santa for children’s gifts that need to be in time.

Find out EXACTLY what is needed at your local food bank. The volunteers and staffs of these amazing life-giving centers know what works and what will clutter the shelves. They often have insight into Benevolent and/or Community resource that are set up to equitably and reliably distribute aid to those who need it most.