be nice. be kind. even when.

Woof. People. Oscars night. We usually gather around the screen with a glass of wine and watch the Academy Awards for the stunning red carpet fashion and to celebrate the behind-the-scenes people who do so much to bring amazing entertainment to the world: the set, costume, sound, and lighting designers. Magicians, all, who do as much, or more, to create indelible pieces of art and culture that can last generations. They can be HUGELY influential, often setting the tone for the all of the design world. We are looking at you, The Power of the Dog for picking up on the love/hate relationship with the American West currently found in the resurgence of both kitschy and authentic western wear and interior design themes. Big as the sky in Montana right now.

This year more and more of the technical wizardry recognition was shunted off the main program in favor of ratings… Well, folks, we all got a show, did we not? Honestly, we don’t give much of a damn who hosts— but DO NOT want to see or hear jokes at the expense of ANYONE’S appearance, life style, or life choices. It is NOT a roast— and people watching are not about that kind of attack humor… and, if that is the audience the producers are seeking? We 100% GUARANTEE those people are NOT the ones paying for tickets to the artistic, complex and often lengthy movies that WIN.

We are NOT saying there are no people we feel need a slap, especially after watching the divisive and repulsive displays at the Supreme Court hearings and all the toadying, unpatriotic so-and-sos who defend or took part in insurrectionist behavior on and around Jan. 6. We ARE saying we do not slap them— physically. The devolvement of culture, entertainment and general demeanor —online for example— continues a precipitous slope downwards at an alarming rate, greased from the top by the bad behavior from the previous administration. Decorum, restraint, and impulse control are really the pillars of civilization —and they are needed to stop this slide to misrule, incivility, lack of empathy, and unchecked aggression. Y’all worried about one millionaire playground fussing with another millionaire? Democracy and the people of Ukraine would like to have a word.

Taking the higher ground is really the only way to hope and, yes, peace, in the world. How do we practice this when everything seems to be devolving and everyone seems to be uncaring and out for themselves?

Breathe.

Really? That’s what we lead with? Really?

Yes. Really. Just breathe… take deep, mindful breaths wherein you notice the sounds around you, the scents, the ambient air, and consciously, thoughtfully and, even painfully, push out the red impulse to do harm, to do too much, to sass back, to hurt, to be first… and just… be.

(You all do know that that does NOT mean breathe ON anyone at this particular time, right? Mask up, ponypeople, we are not yet done with the Covid rodeo and there are many susceptible people out there!)

Take yourself or someone else out of a heightened situation.

Turn away. Turn the other cheek. Turn them with a laugh, or, with THAT stare. Shame is a mighty, mighty thing. If you are a mom? You know.

Find Nature. Science affirms. The natural world heals.

Hug a damn tree. The electron dance from mycorrhizal to you through bark and skin zaps cortisol. Lean in. The underland is the overstory. The further we go from dirt—the deeper we surround ourselves with unnatural elements, the more disconnected we are from the vibrant connectivity of true life and the deeper we sink into “me” ego thinking, de-linking from caring for others, from CO-mmunity.

Begin the practice of real empathy — learn to listen. NO one is good at this this. Practice.

When you, yourself, are centered — which is to say realizing you are NOT the center of the universe but ARE fully expanded and open to the feelings of others — beam outwards. Practice aggressive modeling of better behavior. Commit acts of loud, radical kindness to yourself and others. Ask. Help. Send notes. Thank others. Pay their way. Plant. Grow.

If you are safe and/or secure, call out what needs reprimanding. As moms? We do this— even if it gets uncomfortable. Follow those instincts. You are not always going to be right, but apologies are not against the law and are, in fact, an essential element of being a good human.

Be a good human.

Sending flowers to all of you for no particular reason.

Leftovers from purchased bunches for a birthday arrangement repurposed to go on to make someone else’s day a bit brighter.

Easy peasy— re-purpose the pickle jar, tape up the top.

with love...