hold fast to what matters
The rings were all converging this past weekend, were they not? Those who follow the Abrahamic religions were observing and/or celebrating Easter, Passover and Ramadan— plus it was a full moon, the pink moon, as it happens… or the "pink, lavender, pale blue, and other pastel springtime holiday” moon AKA "Reese’s peanut butter eggs for breakfast” moon…
The world, no less tenuous, no more peaceful, did seem a little cheerier as widely available Covid tests meant many people got together to celebrate.
We did.
And we absolutely forgot how to function at a Sunday dinner in the (gasp) DINING ROOM.
Boxes, storage bins, and unoccupied cobwebs were safely cleared to reveal a vault of a room. In the center, a flat surface surrounded by chairs clearly intended for convening and comestibles. We entered this unremembered temple to sharing a meal as cautiously and with the breathless exultation of Howard Carter and his Egyptian team headed into Tutankhamen’s tomb for the first time, but with (all toes and fingers crossed) fewer viral results.
Could not find the linen napkins, couldn’t be bothered with the china— but with a bit of last minute clipping from outside and a recycled Easter basket, there WAS a centerpiece. Needn’t be much. You can do it, too. The important thing was to have those laughs and love those faces that could make it.
Plus also, sent some cards, some chicks, some chocolate, and bunny beans to those who we gathered close in our hearts if not our arms.
Recycled wool chicks, carefully created blown out Araucana eggs— and the beautiful work of Ukrainian artists.
Centerpiece of repurposed ribbon, sprigs of viburnum, and real eggs in the (gasp) DINING ROOM, surrounded by viburnum branches in a bourbon bottle and sheep headed for the yarn shop.
Eggs have always represented new potential, new beginnings. We wish you better days, safety, and the surety of peace and plenty.
Remember, Remember we all hate November
November light crashes through leafless limbs unfiltered, bashing through windows heading directly for every dusty surface, every spattered backsplash like an unwelcome and judgey relative strongly suggesting with an unflinching gaze that you thought you were ready for the guesting season— and you were very, very wrong.
Lordy, some morning are just ITCHY, right? That fabric you were working with last night felt smooth and luscious and this morning it is not only fighting against straight seams but it is straight scratchy besides. Sunshine streaming in is welcome for the light, but unflinching in outlining every overdue cleaning project in sharp detail. While Spring light is life-reviving and perfumed with blossoms, Summer light diffused and evening lingering, Fall light is…. tricksy. In October, the finding light is warm, casting a fuzzy glow over the home scene, scented with cider and cinnamon.
On the other hand, November light crashes through leafless limbs unfiltered, bashing through windows heading directly for every dusty surface, every spattered backsplash like an unwelcome and judgey relative strongly suggesting with an unflinching gaze that you thought you were ready for the guesting season— and you were very, very wrong.
Last year, innovation was the way to go for celebrating the Allidays. Halloween was semi distant, folks came up with myriad ways to stay apart but celebrate together. This year it seems with vaccinations on the rise (Hallelujah!), Turkey Day is back and looking to be an in-home event.
There is that light… just look at it laughing at our paltry wipe down efforts…
Et Ouija! Changed the perspective...Just look at our shiny knobs!
What! Don’t REALLY look at them! What, are you a monster?
Just admire from afar that we have all made it through some serious, serious stuff and are together to really count the ways we are blessed, to value those we love and let go what we cannot control.
Oh Yes. Have another cup or two. Play with the doggos, hang out with the kids. Pause. Enjoy. Our kitchens are a bit fuzzy, but our hearts are full.
Notes for folks with incoming guests and no time to line up contractors and re-do whole house post-pandemic nesting... or to barely dust...
Clean the bathrooms super well, at a minimum.
Add distracting candles and guest towels.
Tell guests your house is booked for scenes on an upcoming movie shoot ... it is a horror film, n'atch... and everything thing, dust, webs etc MUST stay in place.
Tell guests your fuzzy cabinets are participating in NoShaveNovember.
Keep a line of cups by the entry and inform guests as they enter that like many cultures that request no street shoes in the house, your sanity requires that they leave their glasses by the door.
Start cleaning and organizing the room or part of the house LEAST likely for guests to visit, leaving yourself so pushed for time close to arrival that you barely have time to shower, change and put out cups by the entry for glasses.
Drive to home goods store and buy a written sign for each room. Add your own spicy sayings with sharpie:
Blessed — with 3 varieties of pet hair!
In this house we — don't mention that they are still looking for the last person who complained about the toilet handle jiggle, leak bucket under the sink, or flush instructions situation in the guest bath.
Grateful — if you leave after coffee and don't expect a cooked breakfast.
Tell your overnight guests you are participating in NaNoWriMo and juuuust need to document chewing habits for a scene in your novel so will be observing them closely in the morning if they want to stay for breakfast, perhaps documenting with a live feed.
Really do these things:
Keep light low — no matter how gleaming your abode. Nobody likes sparkle. It incites emotions of envy and jealousy. Hard No-no’s for a convivial gathering.
Candles are great but don't overperfume your rooms.
(Should never leave people wondering if all the candles are trying to cover up something.
Like a body.
In the basement.
Wut?!)
More:
Start stress eating chocolate a couple hours before projected guest arrival. Unlikely you will experience break outs in a just couple hours...
🍅 pin tomato tip 🍅
If you don't have time to dust out every bowl — fill them higher with seasonal materials!
Add seasonal pieces to top up bowls when you don’t have time to deep dust.
Party prep.
Kit in place for emergency cleaning ahead of guests.
Sorry, guests, we couldn’t clean because the cat was comfortable on our lap…
Quarantinesgiving was my 1st Thanksgiving
By November 2020, COVID-19 had made one spring, one summer, and one fall interesting. And we were about to find out what it had in store for us for The Holidays™. My parents, siblings and I had mutually agreed that the priority was keeping my parents safe. That would mean limited and cautious visits with the grandkids, especially. At the time, older people were the most at risk, and the youngest ones were most likely to be silent carriers. Cases were surging, no vaccines yet. No pressure! Just don’t mess up and kill grandma! [Nervous laughter]
Like Halloween before it, I was determined to have some sort of Thanksgiving. God knows why, it’s not like a top ten holiday for me. Quarantining with littles meant going without much of what we had been accustomed to — freedom, spontaneity, outings, time with friends and family, etc. For me, it also meant going without any help after delivering my second, and emergency-esque surgery. We’d been slogging our way through it, and dammit we were due for some celebration!
I was woefully under-qualified to host any version of a Thanksgiving, and I don’t remember all the thinking that landed with me hosting this pressure-filled gathering, but 2020 was nothing if not different, right? “Just think of it as a dinner party. You've thrown all of one of those in your adult life, surely you can pull off Thanksgiving-lite,” she said to herself, like a happy idiot.
Being outdoors was the first parameter. So much would depend on the weather. Some layers, extra blankets on-hand, a fire pit ready to go — with a little luck, we just might pull this off.
Then came the meal part of the planning. F#cking hell. I’m the child of a talented cook, but I did not inherit those genes. This was going to require some research… not a problem for a nerd from a family of nerds. And knowing when you’re out of your depth is a wisdom that age and experience blessed me with. Ah humility, you quiet, priceless asset!
I kinda like to take it easy these days. I don’t willingly sign up for high pressure situations. And to me, Thanksgiving is about as high pressure as holidays get. Between the traditions, the food, what people have come to expect… there’s a lot of pressure to get it “right.” But COVID created the kind of situation that would have been the *only* way to get someone like me to take on Thanksgiving. Since everyone’s expectations had been thrown out the window, I could get a pass on not delivering the holiday they'd come to expect.
In my career, I make a habit of regularly clarifying with clients and partners: What is the goal? (I’ve found this is also a handy way to center yourself when feeling overwhelmed by everyday stuff, too.) So when it came to tackling Turkey Day, I brought everything back to zero and started from scratch. Put aside everything you can about what you think is required of you in this moment. Focus. What's most important?
Stuffing? Nope.
Gravy? Sorry.
Pie?? Multiple! Again, focus on what matters, people.
Okay, there has to be a bird. And I'm going to have to cook it. I'll figure out that later.
What else? Places to eat. Things to eat with. We'll have to be outside. How to make it as comfy as possible out there? Set up the fire pit. Have blankets. Mom has a serving thingie that keeps things warm — I'll borrow that. Okay, back to the food. What else? Some vegetable. Green beans. We’re Americans, stuck on starches, so… potatoes? Bread? Both? Mom makes legendary sweet potato rolls. I'm not trying to touch that. I'll ask her to bring. (I love potluckiness — it’s homey/intimate. More authentic or something.)
The bird
I accidentally bought two. I won’t get into it. (Side eye: Whole Foods.) Having a backup is probably a happy accident, especially for a newbie. Better to have too many turkeys than too few, eh?
I'd never cooked an entire turkey, or any other bird, or entire anything, ever. Maybe an entire potato? A spaghetti squash? But I was officially out of my depth. I'm a once and future vegetarian, and current reluctant eater of fish and poultry. Pregnancy required me to open up my diet, but I never got comfortable with raw... things. [Shudder] I knew I couldn't reach up a turkey, let alone yank out anything. (I was later assured that my procured turkey would be civilized: all its inside bits would be bagged up and easy to remove. Wonderful. I’ll be wearing gloves up to my elbows until the thing is in the oven, and would still require someone else to remove the, er, bag.)
I got a lot of advice before even buying a bird. Thank goodness there's no shortage of advice on the internet! First things first, how big of a turkey do I need? Then, what all will I have to do to it? How will I cook it? How long will that take? What time will we want to eat, because apparently there’s this magical window of “resting” the hot bird wants, and then it’s on! Feed time! But I gotta time it all just right.
Anecdotally I understood that moisture is a big deal. A dry turkey is a sad turkey. So I read about how to (hopefully) avoid that. I settled on dry brining and stuffing the lil chonk with apple and lemon slices among the herbs etc. This should add moisture and make it smell lovely while taking up the oven all day, methought.
Fun fact: sliding lemon slices under the skin was a good move for moisture AND had the added bonus of making it look like the turkey had tits — everyone’s favorite! What holiday or family get-together is complete without them? So, be aware, or you’re welcome. Either way.
If you’re the Go Big or Go Home type, here’s some inspiration that’ll keep grandma and grandpa talking for many Thanksgivings to come <3
Source: https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/1820/Lighten-The-Mood-This-Thanksgiving-With-Lemons
The big day
Mother Nature gifted us a mostly sunny, 50s-something day. We were a go for dinner! Mismatched tables and chairs were set up in the backyard. A wintery tablecloth here, a springy floral one there. Inside, potatoes and green beans went about as well as one would imagine. They're simple, reliable things I'd made a million times, therefore unlikely to explode the day somehow. To my great surprise, the turkey turned out lovely.
There was a lot of rushing. A lot of running around, setting up this and that. I had a toddler and a nursing infant at the time — little, mobile agents of chaos. But somehow we made it work. And what made it work was our collective willingness to let sh!t go. To be content with the day we created within the limitations forced upon us.
Thanksgiving in and of itself isn't my favorite. Politically it’s … ugh. It makes me want to give speeches in the style of the teacher in Dazed and Confused: "Don't forget while you're shoving mashed potatoes and gravy down your gullet that the colonizers turned to cannibalism and would have starved had it not been for…" Anyhoo… The point. What makes Thanksgiving good is the gathering — seeing our loved ones, and spending focused time together. Everything is closed, right? So we’re stuck together! Yay, bonding!
My siblings Thanksgiving-ed with their individual families, and the family text thread was hopping with photos back and forth of each celebration. It amused me that it was kind of like looking at personality test results. Each sibling’s Quarantinesgiving reflected their individual style. From the choice in dishes, to preparation style, and how each gauged whether their dinner was successful.
For my part, I was too busy running around to take many photos. But there’s this one, from after the dust settled.
Turkey legs up, ladies!
be our guest: essential scents for a welcoming atmosphere
Providing a peaceful atmosphere for visitors is a great goal to have. The sharp, aromatic scent of lavender is associated with cleanliness and relaxation. Add sachets of fresh lavender to your bed linens or spritz bottles of calming lavender water to help guests dispel the busyness of the day and promote a restful night’s sleep.
As some essential oil producers are problematic in their sourcing and supply chain, we look for and buy from local farm sources wherever possible.
Handmade sachets.
We keep a sealed bin under each guest bed with linens for that room packed with naturally derived refreshers like bay leaves or lavender. While initially expensive, bay garland can be dried and used for years as a softly scented reminder of gatherings that keeps the smell of stored linens fresh.
Full size, like our hearts when we welcome guests!
Bay leaves repurposed from last year’s bay garland at the holidays.
Allergy check with potential guests is always recommended. Here at Cordelia, our guest list is necessarily limited: like it or not, and though we SUPER clean, especially before our guests arrive, dog and cat hair are part of the “experience”!
be our guest!
What is it we are delighted by when having guests? Is it endemic in humanness to offer hospitality? We always feel like we have won top honors if our guests report a comfortable stay. The ideal, of course, is to maintain a dedicated room or suite set up in perfect welcoming stasis replete with all the accoutrements of a luxe hotel and/or spa. An "away" space offering privacy as well as a cozy retreat.
Having that much space for visitors only is super privileged. Most of us must quickly convert a regular room into guest quarters, tossing kids toys, craft supplies, Zoom room accessories will-ay nill-ay into blanket chests, closet floors, and any other available storage space so as to leave room for the thoughtful touches that make our special callers feel at home. Here are some suggestions to keep on hand as a considerate host.
Hot water, tea selection including decaf, Keurig with coffee pods, sugar, shelf-stable half & half, cups, spoons, magazines, puzzle books, current magazines.
Tissues, scented candle with matches, fruit bowl, snacks, soap, lotion, shampoo, spare toothbrush in package, HBO, Netflix, reading chair with multiple charging locations for both guests.
Plumpy covers and fluffy towels!
Things you don’t see but are good to have:
working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors - with extra batteries
step ladder in closet
band-aids in drawer
mini sewing kit, safety pins
working flashlight
emergency phone charger
extra USB cord
card with house WiFi password
working hair dryer
clear nail polish
nail polish remover
new emery boards
shoe polish cloth
Keep clean linens (sheets, blankets, hypoallergenic pillow covers, pillow cases, fluffy towels sets) in sealed bins for each bed to be converted to guest accommodations under that bed. Store linens etc with crisply scented lavender in sachets or soaps to keep stored items fresh.
For more ideas and advice, check out our Be Our Guest board on Pinterest.
falloween with kids...and COVID
How to accurately describe parenting through a pandemic? I’d ask other parents in my circles, but we’re all tapped TF out. My kids are little, which presents its own challenges, but one silver lining is that they’re not entirely aware of everything that’s changed or been lost over the past year and a half. My youngest was born a few weeks before our area locked down in early spring 2020, so she doesn’t know all that she’s missed out on. My now four-year-old? Not so much. She’s acutely aware of missing swimming lessons, playing with cousins, and climbing around playgrounds with friends yet to be made. It’s been rough. We have vulnerable people in our family, so we’ve been on the extreme end of cautious. We almost lost a very dear friend in the first weeks of the pandemic. It snapped us into shape real quick, and how close it was shook me and hasn't left me.
But being so careful has meant sacrificing a lot, and it’s taken a toll. We’re going a little bonkers, feeling cooped up, and we miss interacting with others. (I’m not even sure I still know how to interact with other adults.) I see lots of families venturing out, doing things that worry me too much to do with my kids. I was a worrier before becoming a mom, and the arrival of my first kiddo amped up the anxiety big time. Now as a single parent, it’s all on me, and the fear of making a mistake can be overwhelming. But I feel guilty that my kids are missing out on different experiences. I worry that their development will be stunted or something. A “lost year” is quickly turning into two, and it represents my youngest’s entire life. I’m not sure she even realizes that there are many other babies out there. We just had no idea what this was going to turn into when it started.
Much of that first year is blurry, but when I started to reclaim some sense of control, or the ability to revive certain traditions and “the things we used to do,” it was that first Fall. Falloween is my favorite season and lasts from September 1st until Thanksgiving, roughly. It could be 90 degrees here and humid as hell, but I'm baking some damn pumpkin bread or stirring a giant pot of butternut squash soup. This season goes so quickly, sometimes you have to will it into your day or house.
Last year there was so much we didn't know, so there was so much we didn't do. Like trick or treating in the usual way. We did a Easter egg type hunt in the backyard with little pumpkins filled with toys and treats. My parents and I posted up behind different doors, and my kids trick or treated up and down the hallway of my house. COVID greatly influenced which events we participate in, and how we participate. We had to get creative if we were going to enjoy some version of our traditions.
Now that we’ve got an entire year and some change under our belts, and the grownups are vaccinated (Hallelujah!), we can weave in more activities that we’re comfortable with. With kids too young yet to be eligible for COVID vaccination, we’re still prioritizing safety.
Safe(r) fall activities
Keeping in mind the CDC’s emphasis on vaccination, masks, distancing, outdoor activities over indoor ones, and small groups instead of crowds, and advice on high, medium and low risk activities from sources like The Mayo Clinic, we’ll keep it small, outdoors, and local.
There is no shortage of great lists out there with every Fall activity you can imagine. This one from Real Simple lists 62 of the best Fall activities. 62! From hayrides and apple picking, to bonfires and drive-in movies, there are plenty of safe(r) options to consider.
You’ve got picnics and parks, farmers markets, pumpkin patches, hiking, camping, outdoor theater and concerts to enjoy outside. And there’s a ton of fally goodness that happens inside: small gatherings, or cooking with the kids, carving pumpkins, or creating something special with fallen leaves and other treasures from the yard. Nothing beats getting outside while the weather is cooperating. Some fresh air and running around, taking a moment to appreciate this transitional season— a pause between the bright, hectic summer, and the muted, stiller winter.
To kick off our celebrating this season, my parents, my littles, and I ventured out to an apple orchard. It was perfect: mild and sunny weather at a beautiful outdoor location. A bit busier than I expected, we were still able to keep plenty of space between us and others, even when the kids were running around. It was an adventure for them— a new experience and a new place to explore, and, hopefully, a new tradition for us. Oh, added bonus: like many orchards, this place also offers summertime berry picking, and, you guessed it: pumpkin patches later on. So we already know one place can return in a few weeks for the ultimate Falloween souvenir.
wreath making: fresh cut from the garden
If fresh decoration is needed for a short term event, a wreath makes a great stand-in for a cut flower arrangement. With a few pieces of equipment, twining together simple greens, with or without flowers that hold up out of water, can be the answer for low-cost, high-impact decor. Of course they look wonderful and welcoming on doors, but can be hung in windows or laid on tables for a bright reminder of the outdoors.
Garden or yard greens and floral elements are fleeting, but allowing them to condition, preferably overnight, in cool water in a clean bucket, should keep them looking good for hours. Some greens from the garden, especially evergreen varieties, can last for several days. We construct our fresh wreaths with a base of evergreen branches. Surprise, you all— “evergreen” does not have to mean spruce, fir, cedar, or pine! Look out for varieties of juniper, cypress, soft hollies, arborvitae, cryptomeria, euonymous, laurels, ivies, and curly privet as some examples of lovely background foliage. If you are in a position to plant these varieties at home, they come in handy for money saving elements for all floral arrangements. Check with your local nursery for what grows best in your area— and try to plant native varieties whenever possible!
After grooming greens, snip larger branches, if necessary, into 8-12” sections. Lay the sections along each other to form a fulsome line. Twist the end of green floral paddle wire at the beginning of a line of branch sections and gently, but securely, wind the paddle of wire around the stems and in between the leaves such that the stems are held, but leaves are not all mashed together.
When ready to assemble a fresh wreath, trim off any discolored or tatty leaves, bare branches or dry areas, roots from ivy, and any really new growth as it will be too delicate to hold up out of water.
Add in sections of branches or stems, continuing to gently wind the wire, until the desired wreath circumference is achieved.
We often include flowering branches such a shrub roses, limelight or other hydrangeas or less tender cut flowers such as rudbeckia, black eyed susans, cone flowers, blue sea holly, lavender, and zinnias.
Once you have the length of wreath you want, lay flowering stems or branches along the leaves as you wind the paddle wire around as you go, securing everything in place. Overlay the two ends of branches and flower line to form a circle. Wrap tightly with wire to hold ends. Cut the wire with wire cutters and twist tightly, bending the wire ends down into the structure of the wreath so no sharp points are left. Check overall appearance. Wire in leaves or flowers wherever needed to fill out less fulsome areas. Don’t forget to add a twist of wire as a hanger!
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the prettiest of them all? A wreath that has made a visit to the “ladies” or “gents” or “the bath chamber of the all-thing,” we are all inclusive here… the point is to check out your creation in a mirror. Amazing how our eyes “tire” of looking at any work and a mirror image forces a new perspective and often reveals any deficits that might need amending. Alternatively, take a picture, walk away from your project and take a look!
event planning
It’s happened. Somebody somewhere is having a thing: a marriage, a party, a (word needed). And they need you! An EVENT has hit in the you in the forehead like a big ol’ wet fish. Now what?
It’s happened. Somebody somewhere is having a thing: a marriage, a party, a (word needed). And they need you! An EVENT has hit you in the forehead like a big ol’ wet fish. Now what?
Vision — Organization — Plan — Prep
Who, What, Where, and How
Events are one of the few places where you start, not at the beginning, but at the ending.
Envision the ending as a beautiful setting overflowing with gorgeous flowers where contented guests converse, glasses softly clink while enjoying delectable food to a backdrop of wonderful music…
Stop. Just Stop.
Roll that glowing Hollywood footage right back. (Maybe even hop over to our Nope board before you get too carried away.)
We are here to tell you that ending is HAPPINESS. Happy clients, happy guests, and (likely exhausted) but well compensated purveyors of events. This might include all the golden hour bits described above— or it might look completely different. The time period from 6-11pm on that invitation? Oh, it is prime. But the concept and process that lead to that celebration or dinner or ceremony are actually more important. We are here to tell you, as event people, our jobs are to suss out what will really make our clients happy and to inject some well softened reality into all that gauzily lit, super stiff, Influenced, party plan.